Hungry Hungry Strippers

Remember the game Hungry Hungry Hippos from the early 1980's?  Yeah, that's what models, strippers, and porn stars look like at 2:30 am, if they don't have someone to hook up with.  Seriously.  The links on this post are definitely in the NSFW range.  Keep that in mind.

I've said it many times, I saw a lot of weird stuff in my 6 1/2 years driving a taxi (1999-2000, 2003-2007, 2011-2012).  Yeah, I know most of you have watched  one or more episodes of Taxicab Confessions, and have seen some weird back seat antics on TV.  But in real life, I saw a lot more, and a lot more things that wouldn't make it into a TV show.  Some were too crazy for TV, and some were the funny stuff that would get edited out of a reality show.  I even had one passenger who was in a Taxicab Confessions cab in Las Vegas, but he was talking about dealing drugs in Newport Beach the whole time, so he didn't sign the waiver at the end of the ride.  In my cab, one of the funniest little things was how much food models, strippers, and porn stars would eat, late at night, if they weren't going to have sex.  

It was a random night in Huntington Beach,  in 2003 or 2004, I think.  All those taxi driving memories kind of blend together now.  I was parked in downtown H.B., in the taxi line, right out side of Hurricane's.  A couple of hot blond women, both in their early 20's, hopped in my cab.  "Brookhurst and Hamilton," one said, obviously used to taking taxis in the area.  So I headed up to Orange, cut across after Beach Boulevard, and drove down Hamilton, towards Costa Mesa.  Brookhurst is one of the main north/south roads, connecting the 405 freeway and the beach area.  At that time, there were a ton of decent prices apartments around Brookhurst and Hamilton.  The women were the stereotypical blond stripper types, with tight, really fit bodies, and fake boobs.  They could have stepped right out of this video.  

With the rise of the action sports in Huntington Beach in the 90's, came snowboarders and motocross guys, like Damian Sanders, Seth Enslow, and their crews.  Their crazy house parties they had in the early 1990's led to Damian and John Huntington creating the Pimp n' Ho Ball, and later Club Rubber, at The Galaxy in Costa Mesa. A lot of strippers, and porn actress women moved to Huntington Beach during that era.  Along with the surf, skate, snowboard, and motocross scenes, followed by the early MMA scene there, a stripper/porn star/party scene grew as well.  On any given night in downtown H.B., these were the drunk women hopping in my cab at 2:15 am.  If you ever wondered how Huntington Beach, still with oil wells everywhere, became such a cool city, it wasn't the work of the city's civic leaders.  Damian Sanders, John Huntington, and a whole bunch of hot women made H.B. cool.  Then came the inevitable Yuppie invasion, which, like locusts, ruin everything.  H.B. still has the best beach around, but normal, working class humans can't afford to live there anymore.  But I digress...

Just for the record, here's the difference between a "stripper" and a "dancer."  A "dancer" is a stripper who is close enough to you to get pissed off and slap you, if she hears you call her a "stripper."  So if their are strippers near you, call them "dancers." and you'll save yourself some drama.  

Anyhow, these two hot blonds were roommates, and told me they were "dancers" somewhere in SoCal, and couldn't find guys they wanted to hook up with that night.  So they were going back to their apartment without to watch TV, no sex in the plans.  "Roll through Del Taco," one said.  I knew where it was, it was a popular late night munchie stop for the people in the Brookhurst and Hamilton area.  I turned into the shopping center parking lot, and cut across to the Del Taco drive-thru, on the far side.  I pulled up so the back right window was by the speaker box.  The two gorgeous blonds, with aerobics toned bodies, ordered $27 worth of Mexican fast food.  This was at a time when regular tacos were still 79 cents, I think.  Six or eight tacos, burritos, fries, large drinks, nachos, they ordered the works.  And then they said, "You want anything taxi driver?"  "Uh... no,.. I'm good," I answered.  I often ate after I was done for the evening, but never during the bar close rush.  I was planning to race back downtown and get a couple more rides, if I could.  My job was 100% about money, food could wait.  

After grabbing the multiple bags of their food, enough to feed about six to eight people in normal circumstances, I pulled out onto Brookhurst, as they began chowing down tacos, and giving me directions with full mouths.  I dropped them off, they paid the $11 or $12 fair, with a healthy tip, proving they really were strippers (uh... I mean dancers!") and headed up to their apartment, with bags holding about 74,000 calories.  

In the years I drove a taxi in the H.B. area, 2003-2007, I saw this play out time after time, usually either rides out of downtown Huntington, or from Club Rubber in Costa Mesa.  Strippers, models, and porn stars, usually little known ones, would buy a ridiculous amount of food, if they weren't getting laid that night.  They, apparently, would either puke it up later, or more likely, wake up the next morning, and go work out for 3-4 hours at the gym, to keep those bodies tight.  Little things like that are the parts of taxi driving people didn't see on the taxi driver reality TV shows of the era.  Pass the guacamole! 

Not your typical holiday lawn inflatables.  This was on the 2nd flor balcony of a strip club in the Shockhoe Bottom district in Richmond, Virginia, in 2018, for St Patrick's Day.  Party on Leprechaun.  #steveemigphotos.  #SEstreetlife.